going for the gold.

the word isn't even 'whelmed' anymore..

it is completely and inconceivably overwhelmed.
that keeps eating and eating away at every sort of insides that i might have left.

i am stretching the bounds of love from end to end. i fear my wingspan is going to tear at the seams and i will be left with broken arms, unable to lift up whatever and whoever i am holding up now.
i have been given too much freedom in time, emotion, thought, and writing that i am able to now word (for the most part) what is going on in this head and heart and body and soul of mine. but i can't say it.

i can never say it.

out of the most complete and sincere love i can never speak it.

i feel deep.
i wish i didn't have to.
but no one can ever love you how i do. i know that for certain.

where?

from a poem written in february 2011:

"confessions of truth and tears of loss and
moments of clarity are covered with the
exhaustive invention of self revival;
the birth of a new feeling,
both melancholy and joyous."



-----
here.



it's where i am.
and that is all, really.

find that dappled dream of yours.

sorry for the excessive videos lately and lack of writing.
but seems like all the good stuff has already been said the write/right way.


and i just forgot how good okkervil river was.

timshel.

an excerpt from a letter written in january 2011.

"you are Real to me because you have let me in. i thank you for that, for that trusting love you have given to me. it is unique and i know it can be unmatched by anything else we both might ever come across. i am thankful for this time when i have experienced raw emotion at it’s deepest. what it means to love at its height and to fall into the lowest. it is true and raw emotion like this that make being human real and whole - and worth being alive. you have taught me what it means to feel life at it’s most genuine, and i couldn’t be more glad.
you can be everything because you are everything. and i am for you, always."



--
in the mean time,
let it saturate you.