lookin for my radio.

i have come to realize in my short 21 years that people will always let you down. regardless of how wonderful, incredible, or amazing they appear to be. no matter how much of yourself you give; no matter how much love you have inside of yourself, its always possible to be let down..for things to not play out how you think and know they should. no matter how good and great things could be.

it's hard to remember that i shouldn't put my Hope into people and worldly things, but they are the things that are tangible, the things i see daily, the things i can reach out and touch. the things that promise fulfillment, no matter how temporary.

no matter how much i give and give and give and give and give.

i really can only rely on four people, completely..

the first being God. though God really isn't a person. God's the one who has got my back constantly, that will be there for me when i need Love, when i feel helpless. God will be the one to really love me unconditionally, in the way i hope and try to Love others. God's love is something that can't be described and can't be explained by me.. but i know that i have drifted from this Love, i have been searching so hard to make situations work, that i have forgotten that God granted me the situations in the first place. God explains to me how God feels through words, through songs, through a breeze outside, through the realizations sent to me. God just doesn't let it go. God sticks with me and encourages me, no matter how trying I may be sometimes. and regardless of anything, God always Loves me.

so this is me dealing with it. this is me trying to figure out how to go and how to move on from this pit that i have found myself in. people fall short, fall through, and forget. and if we're honest, most people just seem to only care about themselves. but i try not to live my life like that. i try to live by giving the most i can for the people i care the most about, even though they fail to see it.

i AM capable of Love. i have found it in Christ.
i know i am able to give it until it hurts. because it does now and it has in the past. and i think that it is something that just always may happen.
maybe i am just not as ready as i thought i was to give it to someone else.

the other three people i know that i can unconditionally rely on are these three:



love is big.