It's strange how emotionally attached one can get to something. Whether it be an object, person, place, whatever, something can get under your skin. Or maybe less under your skin and more into your heart and your head. Lots of things easily become significant to me. I have a terrible memory, but I can usually remember most of my "firsts". First songs, first kisses, first smoke. Things like that. Distinct moments of my life can be defined in firsts, but no matter how many times I've repeated the act, the first is always the more prominent in my mind. I suppose that's why it's called a "first".

The first time I heard the song was a few weeks after we'd broken up. It was Spring Break except it wasn't very Springy and it wasn't much of a Break since I worked most of the week. I think it was the Monday night. So we wanted to get together but neither of us wanted to hang at the other person's house to avoid the awkwardness of parents and siblings and such. So he picked me up and we still weren't sure of what we were going to do. We drove and drove and drove. He said he wanted me to listen to this song and so I did. It had been the first time I really cried in a few weeks. We cried together and drove. We drove all around town and around all the backroads that neither one of us knew how to navigate. I think we listened to the song the entire time. So we decided to get some smokes and we went out to a graveyard where a friend of mine is burried. And we just laid there smoking some smokes. Not really talking. Just laying in the grass recalling the lyrics and the past year and a half in our minds. I don't think he liked the smokes but I did because it helped me to relax and not think for five minutes. So I've listened to the song every day for the past five months.
On rare occassions it feels like the first time.