i would be sad.

autumn colors are here.

they are vibrant. they are beautiful.

i wish that my eyeballs were hooked up to video cameras that were able to project onto television screens and in movie theaters. there is no way i can describe the way the blue ridge mountains impale their peaks so wonderfully into the bright blue sky. i can't tell you how a rusted, silver guardrail lines the median of a highway, overgrown with tall yellowing grass. or how the reds and greens and oranges and yellows and whatever other color you can see in the trees make the roads to homes somewhere i want to be for forever. on the road. forever. seeing Creation. experiencing beauty.

these are only things i can explain to you; things i can only write about.
and so, i will write to you. pages upon pages.
i wish i could show you these things so you could understand.
i wish you would be with me when i see them.
i wish you could see.

autumn is here. it is crisp. it is sweet. it is precious. it is brisk.

things these colors have taught me:
-seeing love expressed it so beautiful. especially when it is so easy. and just another day.
and whole.
-it is hard to hear the truth.
-it is easy to tell the truth.
-the truth is hardest to hear when coming from someone you love.
-the truth is hardest to hear when you've known it was the truth all along, but have believed the lie.
-the truth is inevitable.
-Hope will always prevail.

i don't want to think about these colors soon fading.
winter will soon come. it is always around the corner.

i don't know where i want to be anymore.

for now i will sit, wait, and wish to jump into these colors as they fall to the ground.

will you rake them for me?