cycles.

sometimes i have to remind myself that the earth is not a cold, dead place.

which leads to me reminding myself that my heart is not a cold, dead place.

which leads to me telling myself that people are not stone; there is fire inside of them.

which makes me realize that God is breathing into people.

then i feel my own Self and heart being breathed upon; a Light being shone into this darkness.

then i find myself alone or waking up in the morning, and the perpetual cycle of this thought has to start all over.

but lately, i am feeling the Sun again.

i can't help it when i get into these moods. whats mine is mine, and i am not eager to share what i have. i can't help when i feel an invasion of my relationships is coming; when something i have cultivated and made my own feels tread upon. my self worth has been beaten into the ground, and just when i find myself building it back up, something always intervenes, causing me to retreat back into my Self, away from the crowd and those i care the most about.

where two or three are gathered, there i am content and happy.

i know i invent these in my head. i can't help it.