the days keep comin, they never fail ya.

there have only been two times in my life when i thought i was really dying.

one of those instances happen last summer when i was violently awoken by the loudest truck i have ever heard outside my window while staying at mars hill college one week. i thought it was the end of the world and Jesus was coming back and so i wanted to be prepared and ready and was seconds away from waking up jordan until i realized it was a truck. and i was in bed. and everything was normal..

the second time occurred at the beginning of last semester.
i'm a junior. living in the wonderful, beautiful, and much desired jefferson apartment building. there is a train that runs through campus. again, i was violently awoken by the loudest noise, even louder than the truck, and i again thought it was the end of the world and i had to get up and see what was going on. then i realized it was the train. and everything was normal..

i still am not used to the train.
three years and it still startles me. during the day it's just regular background noise. but once the sun goes down is a different story. nights in jefferson are awful. the past month and a half has been the worst. i don't fall asleep until way after i get in bed most nights. i lay awake night pondering, thinking, debating, praying, and listening to that damned train. it get louder every night, i swear.

it is nice to listen to local music because, often times, i know the place or thing they are singing and writing about. it's nice when someone with better musical capabilities/lyrics/thoughts can portray how you are feeling.

i know.
i know. i know, i know.

i talk about john mark mcmillan too much.

but.

my time here is ending.
i've expanded my mind here.
i think too much.
i hear that train so much.

we've almost become an odd-sort of friends because i expect it every night. it's comforting that there is something steady going on constantly at night when all the world is asleep except for me and i am debating my entire life's purpose.

what will keep me up when i leave here?


and it's nice when it reminds me of these words.




"i think about you late at night
sometimes when i can't sleep,
and i can hear the train.
it's always there,
you just don't know it til a quarter to three,
you just can't hear it in the day."