I Never Thought It Would Come To This But This Is The "Disclaimer."

Truth be told, I've been weary of updating my blog recently.

Not because of lack of time or thoughts to write, but because I know now that I have an audience other than my twenty followers who deliberately check this blog. I was informed over Spring Break that my mother gave out the link to my blog to various people at church, including people from her Sunday School class. Wow. Women who have impacted my life and my walk with Christ are not only now my Facebook friends, but also reading my blog. Truth be told again, I was a bit upset when my mother informed me of this recent development. I have seriously considered in the past week of getting rid of various posts from my blog, intensely editing my words, or deleting the entire thing all together. We all remember how vicious people from my church were when Myspace first came along and some of us in the youth group made innocent pages. That was then. Probably six or seven years ago if I'm remembering correctly.

That being said:

I'm not apologizing for anything anyone reads in this blog that may or may not come off as inappropriate, immature, wrong, or anything else negative. These are my thoughts, my feelings, my whatevers and you should consider it a privilege to be given access to the inside of my heart and mind and body and soul. I'm 21. I'm not living at home in a box. I'm freely thinking more than I have before in my entire life. I have doubts about myself, my life, and God. I struggle with things and that is completely normal. I'm not perfect. I'm not perfect. I am not perfect. I'm trying to live a life glorifying to Christ with this ridiculous mess I've been given to work with, and I don't always get it right. I don't want to lead a sugar-coated life. I was truth and honesty and realness. I never thought I would have to write something like this, and perhaps this is taking the entire thing a bit far, but I'm just considering it as a precaution. I know how much people can flip out when they find people aren't as perfect as you were lead to believe. I've had strange experiences in my short life that have made me what I have become. I serve a God who teaches me, molds me, and sometimes has to break me. That's okay. I accept it and whoever reading this should accept it as well. And chances are if I write something in my blog, I don't really want to talk about it in real life. This my own space to write what I think, and that sometimes means thinking it out for myself instead of talking it out with someone. I don't want to know if you read my blog the next time I'm home at church or what you thought of something I thought or said. Unless it's positive of course..

That went on entirely longer than I expected but perhaps it's for the best. If you're on here after my scripture spaces that I write for the school newspaper just contact me and I'll be happy to email it to you weekly because those don't end up in here all of the time.

Okay. /rant.

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Anyway.

I'm going to be okay.


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Thanks.