less than three.

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love, according to your great compassion."


In Proverbs it says to guard your heart because it is the wellspring of life.

Medically speaking:
Hearts are delicate.
Hearts are fragile.
Hearts pump life in to our bodies and give all of our other organs the blood necessary to function properly.
I learned last night that if a lacrosse ball hits you in the chest at the exact moment your heart is taking a beat, it will kill you dead.

Emotionally speaking:
Hearts are delicate.
Hearts are fragile.
Hearts pump love into our bodies and give us a sense of belonging and fulfillment necessary to function properly.

When hearts mess up, everything else gets messed up too.

You have to wait until they're fixed. Take medicine, exercise more, eat right.

But sometimes you need a new one all together.

A heart transplant isn't an easy one to endure, but often necessary for people because its the only way they'll be able to keep living this life that I think is so beautiful.

When hearts mess up, everything else gets messed up too.
You can't function properly. You can't think straight. You worry and become anxious about every little thing going on around you. You wonder if you're ever going to get fixed. Get right. It's more than a box of Cheerios can handle. You can joke about it, but I'm not sure if laughter is the best medicine or if it just makes matters worse all together.

But I do know.
That.
Hearts are the wellspring of life.
Sometimes our wells lose water for a while.
Sometimes we find a blip in the scan that we never knew was there.
But God is always there to pick up the pieces.
Mend the brokenness and ease the stress.

He WILL resurrect our hearts from despair.
He WILL restore the joy of his salvation.
He WILL time Spring Break at just the perfect time.
He WILL give us people to give and receive love.
He WILL give us songs and Psalms that fit how I feel about everything better than I put into words myself.


I can't deny God presence or my faith in Him when I keep reading and hearing and thinking and seeing how good He is just by waking me up in the morning and giving me music that reminds me of His power. But still. Sometimes it's okay to question and be disappointed and be weird and want to cry but can't. He WILL restore me.. I think He's just taking His time.

I read somewhere that love is patient so that's my story and I'm sticking to it.



'i am still running.
i am still running.
i am still running.
i am still running.

build me a home, inside Your scars.
build me a home, inside Your song.
build me a home, inside Your open arms.
the only place I ever will belong.'



"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore in me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me."
Psalm 51.


Create and restore, Lord. Create and restore.