And The World's Got Me Dizzy Again.

I am only seven days shy of completing 21 revolutions around the sun.




I feel like I've experienced things in life that most 21 year olds have never experienced.

Maybe I'm just overly analyzing my existence on this earth for the past few decades (holycrap). But I've been through some tough junk. God's worked in me and around me and through me and even in ways I haven't even realized yet. He's given me experiences that have transformed me into the person I am right now. The person typing meaning-full words into the black hole of the world wide web. I've experienced so many different things. My life has been so strange. So weird. So eventful, even when it felt like everything was standing still. I am so grateful for my past almost 21 years. I am so grateful for every road block and smooth sailing I've had.

I've spent the majority of these 21 years in school. A prison, if you will. I really hate school. But where I sometimes failed to learn my academic lessons, I was completely surrounded in learning about the world, about people, and about myself.
I've worked jobs that have made me miserable, but have made friendships that are solid and unforgettable.
I have found love and I have lost it. I have given up people. I've won and lost. I have been mad, upset, untruthful, forgiving, forgiven, understanding, deviant, hopeful, pessimistic, angry, broken, uplifted.
I've had a church family that has helped pull my family through our most difficult situations. The Body of Christ. I am apart of the Body of Christ. His hands and feet have reached out to me in my most desperate of times and have lifted me higher than I ever could have imagined.
And when it was time for me to leave that Body, God gave me another one to enter into at Wingate. I would not be the person I am today without the face of Christ shining directly on me everyday in the faces of about ten people from this school. My core. My heart and my soul. I love you all, even though you don't blog anymore.
And I have a family that is, quite frankly, my dear, the shit. There I said it. My family is the shit. The coolest four people I've ever met in my life. Mom, PoppaSquat, Mags, and Briglet. My love. My loves. My backbone. We've been through all the crap that life has thrown at us and have come out of it stronger and with more love than most families. We're breathing and we're living and we're loving and we're one. I can only hope that one day I can have a family like the one I've come out of. One that just loves. That's all. Just loves and forgives. And plays Wii.

This has taken more of an introspective turn than I anticipated, but if these happen to be the last words I type, I want all 18 of my followers to know that I love you. Or if this is Dane Jordan I want you to know that I love you. Or if this is my mom I want you to know that I love you. Those are about the only people I know of that read this. Oh yeah and you Chelsea Roeder. I love you.

I can't wait to get totally wasted on my birthday.
Just kidding.

It's a long life, baby. I can't wait for the next 21 years. And the 21 after that. And the 21 after that. And then maybe like the 10 after that.


And now, the cliche quote from American Beauty,
"It's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember to relax and not try to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid, little life."